Teenage Dream

Well its just days left before I head to the State and begin my new journey of life. To be frank, I'm not as excited as I thought myself would be. Perhaps, this is what differentiate reality and dream - we tend to worry about everything in real life. Then, I start to wonder again, am I doing the right thing?

It takes a lot of courage, and money of course, to leave a place I've known since I ever open my eyes for the first time. So its devastating when you have people telling you, if I were you, I won't be going la.. so far away and expensive.. this and that. Well, you ain't no me. How do you know what was the reason I'm leaving?

Then I start to recall this little ambition of mine since, I can't really tell when. I wanted to do something that make my mum proud. Given the history of my family, I actually wasn't given any chances to fail in this one. I am not allowed to fail. Furthermore, I am the key person that determine where we stand in the future. Even though I know its gonna be a tough one to go out there and stand by myself alone, I have to. Don't I know its a big risk and not to mention, financially burdening too? I doubt I can watch movies as heavy as I did here because Im going to hell workalot there to earn every penny i spend!Of course I did all the maths. People asked my mum, how a widow like her was abled to raise all 5 kids so well? That's exactly the point I wanna prove to the world.

I had doubt in myself before this too. But my mum kept telling me, if we were given the opportunity to do something, we should grab it while it lasts. Now its the right time to go. God knows how long more the business can go well on. If I let it slip through, I might not make it in the near future. I don't wanna look back at my life and ask, what if.

Sometimes, people think they know what they want to know. But they never go underneath what's on the surface. They only take what they saw and jump into the conclusion. Well, take what you can. I can't tell you what to do. Its your thinking. And so is mine. I just hope that if you wanted to put yourself into my shoes, make sure you got into the right foot.

For the past few days I've been hanging around, having fun - a lot. Well, guess that's it. I should come back to reality. Because one day, these people won't be there for me as they have their dreams to chase after too, just like how I can't be there for them. I can't be blocking everyone and making them to compromise with me just because I'm leaving soon. I know they have their own schedules too. I am not the only friend. And thanks for enlightening my days. Appreciate that. Even a thought without action was sweet. You all make me feel like a teenager again.

But too bad, I'm already 21.