Fear

I think I am finally catching up with my age lately. Not only I can't stay up all night, I started to be less productive, less fun and most importantly, I stop taking risk.

Is it really due to my age? Perhaps. But right now, I can only relate it to responsibility and fear. I almost don't remember how I did it the first time when I left this place filled with familiar faces and routes. I was very determined and strong hearted back then. Why am I having this hesitation this time around? It's clearly not my first time bidding farewell to people I love.

Fear has started to conquer me in a way I guess. I am afraid of losing a lot of stuffs lately - stuffs that didn't bother me when I first decided to put everything behind and venture into a whole new place by myself. This summer made me realized how much I actually placed on the table in exchange for a better future. I doubt if this future that seems so perfect will ever become a reality - or more importantly, do I see anyone from the present in the picture?

I used to think that - if you have a good life, e.g. nice job, nice car, nice house, the rest will just follow suits. However, I've been questioning myself as of lately - what if everything does come to life, but there's no one to share the joy with me?

I once heard this short story - a father wanted to make his family happy for life. So he set a goal to make a lot of money to bring happiness to his family. He started working real hard in order to provide a better life to the ones he loves. Day and night he worked without really having any interaction with his wife and kids because he was really determined to bring in more comfort to his family. His wife and kids were always having dinner without their husband and father because he'll be at work. Soon they all left. The father was really angry and upset. Why would they left someone who is trying his best to provide everything they needed?

I think this is a great example of how people lose track on their way to search for happiness. Sometimes its not about how delicious a food taste - its the experience - cooking together and creating memories are what makes the food taste better than it was.

I'm not sure if I am on the right path to bring in more happiness to the people around me - or I'm just simply drowning everyone while I blindly think this is the best I could do. I'm just not sure anymore.

Distance is all I am feeling lately.

是我勇敢太久

Goodbye 2011

Seriously I still don't understand how time works - it just went by so quickly! 2011 has been really a great year for me; so many ups and downs and shit happened, but hey life goes on! When you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up. Hopefully this is what will happen in 2012. Looking back 2011 it has to be a year for my studies. I had a big comeback (woot woot!) on my grades since it went downhill after PMR. LOL. Not to mention I effing nailed all my classes to a point people nicknamed me as the Maya (3D program) God. HAHAHA. Here's hoping I will maintain the drive for studies and keep improving and have better artworks to share with everyone. I wish everyone stays healthy for the upcoming year nevertheless. Goodbye 2011 and hello 2012!! Partayyy and work hard bitches! When life gives you lemon, just sell it and buy yourself a drink!

This is my last artwork of 2011: guess the portrait? 

I tried to approach the same drawing style back in March. Clearly a failure

My Suicide 03.29.1967

One of the better soundtrack I've heard in awhile. So beautiful! So good that I have to upload it to youtube myself!

The score is from a recent movie I watched awhile ago called The Artist. The movie was beyond words. Definitely check it out. I think the 'public version' is available online now. Not bootleg. Whoops. This is the movie trailer. The trailer is so good it pretty much sums the movie.


So this is me showing my support for the movie - Hope you win big for the upcoming Golden Globe and Oscar next year! You deserve it!

My 1st Visit To ILM Studio

There's a new movie out now everywhere else besides U.S. - The Adventures of Tintin, by Steven Spielberg. Fortunate enough, my pal Cory was invited to a private screening over at ILM (Industrial Lights and Magic) - the visual effects studio behind almost every major hollywood blockbusters - Ironman, Transformers, Captain America, Avengers, just to name a few, and he asked me to be his plus one. So so so stoked!!

I've been really excited about this ever since I saw the teaser trailer

The entrance to the ILM theatre~ That's the Jedi Fountain. How George Lucas was that huh?

Darth Vader: another Lucas icon

What an eye opening visit! Too bad we can only take pictures around the entrance. Back to the movie - it was a really good movie. Best adjective to describe the movie? It's very Steven Spielberg! LMAO. A lot of lens flare shots, 50s jokes (which I really enjoyed - its all about retro peeps! Haters gonna hate!),  Sharks, Indiana Jones vibe and etc. Just the last one makes a movie hella good already. The CG part just blew my mind away, like completely. I like how every scene was transitioned beautifully from one to another - that really takes a lot of effort to make sure the visual flows. Action sequences were really well constructed too. The good thing about Spielberg is, you are always quenching to find out what is going to happen next - because he is just that good at building up the anticipation. I like how the graphic sticks to the original designs of the comic version of Tintin. That really takes a lot of studies. Jamie Bell did a great job breathing life to Tintin too because I can see Tintin as a real life human instead of just an animated character. I've seen The Polar Express but this one is a way better Motion Capture than that one was. So to sum this trip up - go and watch Tintin already!! Definitely gonna be a contender for Oscar's best animated feature next year. Won't be surprised if it wins.

(P/S: I wouldn't mind working at ILM at all!!)

Sunday Portrait

I just don't feel like doing any academic-related work today - So I did this. Guess the sketch?