Nightmare

Once again I found myself waking up 3 in the morning because of terrifying nightmare. I woke up feeling choked and haunted. Cold sweats. Got nowhere else to express my fear therefore here am I. Dear internet, you have become my new best friend.

Relief

Relief was always a good thing - back in school when a teacher comes in and tells us its relief period, its always the most cheerful moment.

Fast forward seven years later, relief has became a luxury that we can't afford in a daily basis. Work, school and taking care of ourselves - basically finding a relief time takes well organizing and planning in order to make it happen. It's like finding unicorns for people who aren't details-oriented like me.

Some may suggest, just take the easy way and quit your job if its drowning you. But the bigger question here is actually not my job. I was unhappy even before I begun this horrible journey of being mistreated. This job is just an extra kick to what was already bound to happen. This is the same dilemma I had over and over again for the course of the past few years. I am losing my balance. I feel suffocated. Things are changing and I can't control it. Can't do nothing about it.

Therefore, I came up with a solution. This really has nothing to do with anyone or anything. I am just trying to make myself less miserable. I'm tired of looking for listeners and being angry all the time. I know I am the only one who can help myself out of this misery. It was really nice to have a few of you who really cared for me at one point of my life. Really grateful for that. If you are reading this, I am doing you guys one last big favor. I am on my own now. Peace out!